Trying out something different for a change. In truth, it is quite rare that I get an interesting question via my blog. People seem to often forget that the best way to learn BaZi is through good questions, not finding answers to their charts.

This question was sent in response to my blog post from many eons ago entitled “ARE YOU UNTRAINABLE” (Sidenote: that blog entry seems to inspire a great deal of questions, most which actually involve having failed to grasp the concept behind the entry itself. Much of this is because there is a very shallow and superficial understanding of the 10 Gods. People have an exceedingly literal notion of what a particular 10 God means. Memo to self: revisit that entry)

Here is the question in it’s entirety:

Strong Geng DM with a lot of Friends (Geng) in chart. Suffers from social anxiety. So the training is what? She craves friends but find it hard to express herself and instead look too proud and standoffish which repels potential friends away.

I have weak Xin DM with a single RW (Geng). Means I can be trained how to work with others. I am confused. Isn’t that what Friends star deals with, which is cooperation? I don’t struggle to make friends or cooperate as much as the strong Geng DM person I mention.

Find it hard to differentiate between RW and F now.. can you help let me know what is the difference between them? Are they basically same except for RW being more competitive?

 But so far all the stuff I read about RW and F, I find they are very similar. Unlike other yin yang pairs of similar elements like HO and EG, or DO and 7K which I find quite easy to differentiate between.

So let’s have some fun with the above question, which is actually really a whole bunch of questions thrown in together. Again, another sidenote: asking a BaZi question is not easy. Often times, you have to start with trying to ask what it is you want to know rather than just blurting out the set of facts or circumstances. Secondly, many students struggle with how to deal with assumptions when it comes to BaZi charts (meaning, they are arriving at conclusion A based on assumption B, but the basis for assumption B could be open to debate).

Strong Geng DM with a lot of Friends (Geng) in chart. Suffers from social anxiety. So the training is what? She craves friends but find it hard to express herself and instead look too proud and standoffish which repels potential friends away.

Firstly, I’m going to assume that the writer has read the chart correctly with regards strength of the DM. Because about 99.9% of the time in the queries, the interpretation of Strength of the DM is wrong. This is because “a lot of friends” in chart does not necessarily equate with Strength. If the Friends Star is all over the chart but NOT in the month, this is not enough to justify that the Geng DM is strong.

Secondly, if the Geng DM is really strong because of SEASON (meaning born in M0nkey 申 month), and is surrounded by Geng, then this chart would conform to one that effectively has a indirect Rob Wealth problem.

What is a indirect Rob Wealth problem? When the Friend Star is too strong, it “converts” into the Rob Wealth Star. However, this conversion is a bit like a genetic mutation – the outcome is that the negative traits of Rob Wealth appear, and the positive traits do not exist.

THAT is why this person has difficulties with making friends and yet craves friends. The Rob Wealth star makes the person excessively social – indeed, strong Rob Wealth is socially driven. It’s important to them that they are well-accepted and have friends. They are also people who have a great deal of difficulty being by themselves. They often rely on social validation for their actions. In short they won’t do something because it’s right but they might do it if it will make them more likeable.

This is in fact, contrary to the effect of having the Friend Star as the basis of Strength. This is because the Friend results individuals with a great deal self-possession. These are individuals who will not do something unless they believe that action or viewpoint or outlook reflects their own unique sense of principles or their world vision. They are self-orientated first and foremost. Unlike the Rob Wealth Star, which drives people to do things for approval, the Friend Star makes a person only interested in satisfying themselves. This of course, is typically defined as ‘selfish’, which in actual fact is not the same as self-possession.

Because in this case, we are potentially deal with a Friend Star that has converted into a Rob Wealth Star, and exhibits ONLY the negative Rob Wealth traits, this person is insecure, yet craves friendship. They are unable to accommodate other people due to the Friend Star (Rob Wealth is very good at making friends because they are happy to go along with what everyone wants as long as everyone is happy!).

“find it hard to express herself”

This is possibly caused by the Monkey month of birth (again, I’m assuming it’s a Monkey month)  This is because in that month, Ren Water (which is the Eating God Star) is strong. That is why the person has difficulty expressing themselves and is socially awkward (anxious appears to be the wrong word to me).

So the training is what?

As for the question: “training is what” (for those who have difficulty understanding the pidgin English, the question that ACTUALLY is being asked is how should this person train their Geng Metal). First off, as this person is a Geng DM, the issue of training the other Gengs in the chart is irrelevant. The original post “ARE YOU UNTRAINABLE” was designed to reference the instances where Geng Metal is not the DM, and how that facet of a person’s personality has to be trained in order to excel because Geng must be trained.

So what is the solution for this strong Geng DM?

Firstly, a strong DM does not need more friends. The reason why the person craves friends/companionship is *probably because of the indirect Rob Wealth.

* because I have not actually seen the charts in question, I am writing this based on assumptions from the information provided.

All I can say is, this person should focus on the Direct Officer. Stop wasting time with the Friends/Rob Wealth Star. These do nothing for the DM.

As for what is the exact training that is supposed to be entailed, many people find it difficult to understand what this means. When we say in BaZi, Geng Metal must be trained, what does that mean?

It means HARDSHIP.

(which no doubt, prompts even more questions).

In this person’s case, it has a variety of possible meanings because she herself is Geng DM. Therefore, training her can have several meanings, depending on what is the outcome the person wishes to attain.

If this person’s desired outcome is more friends, well that’s easy. They simply have to train themselves to do what it takes to be friendly. You might think: how hard is that? Well for a person who is socially anxious or perhaps is not necessarily extroverted, or who isn’t good at making conversation or “small talk”, they simply have to force themselves to do this more often. They have to force themselves to engage people instead of waiting for people to engage them (if you are socially anxious or an introvert, you will know how HARD this is). They have to make themselves uncomfortable in social settings in order to attain their goal. They have to socially torture themselves by going out all the time, going to places where they are forced to network, make friends, shake a lot of hands etc.

Now, what the person who asked the question didn’t realise was that SHE ASKED THE WRONG QUESTION. It is not always necessarily the case that what the DM wants, is what the DM needs.

If the DM is strong because of Friends that has converted to Rob Wealth, then trying to have more friends is not the answer. Firstly, the excess Friend Star has to be controlled. This means this person should favour her career (or marriage, since Direct Officer = Husband) and not worry about being Miss Popularity.

Now, onto the other question…

I have weak Xin DM with a single RW (Geng). Means I can be trained how to work with others. I am confused. Isn’t that what Friends star deals with, which is cooperation? I don’t struggle to make friends or cooperate as much as the strong Geng DM person I mention.

So first of all, it’s clear to me that the writer did not understand the context or point of the original article. “Means I can be trained how to work with others” is the wrong way to interpret how the Geng Metal in the chart should be utilised.

Remember: ALL GENG METAL MUST BE TRAINED.

There is no ‘can’ or ‘should’ or ‘might’. If you have Geng Metal in your chart, and you want to use that star (and really, why would you NOT want to use a star?), then you have to train it.

The interpretation that the writer does not need to train her Geng Metal any further because she already knows how to make friends and cooperate with other people indicates an overly simple understanding of the Rob Wealth Star (since the writer is weak Xin, Geng is her Rob Wealth Star).

The Rob Wealth Star can mean MANY THINGS, amongst which cooperation and the capacity to be social is amongst two of the traits associated with Rob Wealth. It can refer to salesmanship, persuasive ability, capacity to be spontaneous, ability to adapt to changing circumstances, improvisation skill, networking ability…(amongst other things).

On the scale of things that the Rob Wealth Star can be used to do, ‘cooperation’ (aka, being a team player) and ‘making friends’ is really…very low down on the scale of usefulness in life. However, without knowing what the writer does (if she is a housewife, then the debate is really quite moot), it is difficult to know for what reason, the Rob Wealth Star should be trained (and in what manner).

As for the actual nature of the Friends Star, no, it is not about making friends, as the above stated.

OBJECTIVE and GOALS must always be considered before we determine what is the nature of the training that must be done. The Star that Geng Metal represents in your chart and how you want to use the traits associated with those Stars must first be determined before you can ascertain HOW you should train your Geng Metal.