Recently, I was asked – is it not my job, as a BaZi consultant, to help everyone who comes to me for a consult?
Actually, no. It’s not my job to help everyone who comes to me for a consult, although I suppose, it depends a lot on what you define the word ‘Help’ to mean.
According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary, ‘Help’ means the following:
- to give assistance or support to <help a child with homework>
- to make more pleasant or bearable : improve, relieve<bright curtains will help the room> <took an aspirin to help her headache>b archaic : rescue, save
- to be of use to : benefitb : to further the advancement of : promote
- to change for the betterb : to refrain from : avoid <we couldn’t help laughing>c : to keep from occurring : prevent <they couldn’t help the accident>d : to restrain (oneself) from doing something <knew they shouldn’t go but couldn’t help themselves>
- to serve with food or drink especially at a meal <told the guests to help themselves>
- to appropriate something for (oneself) <helped himself to the car keys>
I think we can all agree (6) is not applicable here, and (5) is obviously the word used in a specific context. Therefore, 1, 2, 3 and 4 are potentially applicable.
As a consultant, I think it certainly is my job to give advice that will be of assistance and that is informative towards the goals of the client. As such, I do think that it is my job to be of use off (help in that sense) to the client and in some respects, to prevent clients from doing certain things which may not be in their best interests. However, in some ways, if a client wishes to do something (due to expediency or circumstance) which I don’t think is in their best interests, it is my job to help them figure out a way to achieve their goal although of course, it depends on whether or not that goal is achievable (or even worth achieving).
But is it my job to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped or to help people who keep doing stupid things and then come running back to the consultant when things don’t work out? Is it my job to help people who continually step in dog poop despite being warned otherwise? Is it my job to help people who don’t want to help themselves?
Nope. Na.da.
I see my job as giving my clients advice. I tell them what to do, I offer suggestions on what they SHOULD DO. The rest, is up to them. If they insist on doing something that isn’t going to work or insist on doing things in a way that won’t be effective, then it is not my job to save them from themselves. I am not a human life vest. The universe helps those who help themselves and this BaZi consultant takes the same view.
As the consultant, I am responsible for the quality of advice that I give, and I am responsible for ensuring that I give correct advice. I am responsible for pointing out the potential pitfalls, the risks, and the upsides in a given circumstance. I am responsible for outlining possible paths of action, and the pros and cons of one course of action over another. But I do not decide for clients. That is their job. (i mean come on, it’s the least they can do right? Live their own lives?)
But oh, comes the refrain. If someone is down and out, all the more reason they need more help and support no? Am I saying that people who continually make stupid mistakes shouldn’t be given a helping hand?
Yes to the first and frankly yes to the second (I don’t believe stupidity is inherent – it’s a learned trait). But it’s not my job to necessarily provide help and support. Other professionals are better at that – marriage counsellors, professional therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, behavioural modifications experts, NLP people…priests…
My job is to provide the cosmic perspective. The Ballpark of Life. To render an informed opinion of possible outcomes and determine risks of particular courses of actions, viewed from the lenses of an alternative approach.
Okay, I give a little bit of hope as well (I am not a total wrecking ball) but I try not to give too much. There are more than enough people giving out happy-clappy hope out there anyway – gotta have someone who does the Doomsday forecast as well.
So is it my job to help everyone who comes to me for a BaZi consult? That depends on whether or not they want to help themselves.
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