Clients ask for this all the time.

They want options. Choices.

A or B? Not good enough. They want A, B, C, D, the kitchen sink, half the farm and the moon on a silver platter as well please.

BaZi always gets oversold, irregardless of whether or not the person who sells you the consult actually oversells. Hence I often place a great deal of emphasis on managing client expectations. Because the truth is that whilst BaZi can be extremely helpful, and offer very clear and precise solutions and answers to problems, it is also inherently limited by one very important element in the equation.

REALITY.

Reality is your educational background.

Reality is your age.

Reality is your personality and character, which grows more and more set in place as you get older.

Reality is your mortgage. Your debts. Your credit card bills. Your kids who need their education paid for.

Reality is doing a business that you don’t understand or know anything about is a very sure-fire way of failure.

Reality is doing a business that you don’t love, or have a great passion for, or a particular interest in, is also a recipe for potential disaster or failure.

Reality is doing business when that’s not what you’re suited to doing is asking for disaster.

Reality is the country you live in, the socio-political-economic circumstances of that country, its warts and all.

So what exactly is it that I’m getting at? Well basically that the BaZi consultant can offer you a multitude of options and solutions, but those solutions and options may not be choices that you can actually make, or action you can actually take.

Equally, they may not be choices, solutions and options that you are WILLING to take on or make. (read, you don’t want it enough).

Sometimes this is due to the limitation of the person. For example, if you are 52 years old, have spent 25 years in the same industry, and now want options as to what you can do having quit your job or perhaps been let go or perhaps having sold your existing business. Also you need it to be that this job pays you the same as what you were earning, you do need to recognise that

a) as much as people say age is all in the mind, let’s face it – you don’t have the same energy you have at 52 that you did at 25. It’s not to say you can’t use mind over matter to achieve that energy. But most people are simply not prepared to start over at 52. They haven’t the will-power, the drive and the desire.

b) your skills could be out of date. Or limited. If all your life was spent in the manufacturing industry, but your ideal industry of choice if Fire, do you have the skills to take on a job in that industry? Many people love the idea of owning a restaurant (Fire element industry) but talk to anyone in the F&B business and they’ll tell you that unless you’re opening a chicken rice shop, a restaurant is potentially the fastest way to lose your pants and nest egg, after owning an airline of course. And there is the small problem of actually being able to cook.

Invariably, the problem of clients feeling like no options were given to them is often because the options and possibilities (as derived from their chart + taking into account the reality of the situation) simply isn’t in line or in tandem with the OPTIONS THEY WANT TO HEAR.

In short, they got given options and choices. Just not the ones they wanted. Not the ones that represent their long held dreams. Not the ones that tell them they are going to be rich. Not the ones that make them feel good.

It is an irresponsible and indeed, I’ll go so far as to say, rotten, consultant who ignores reality and practicalities when it comes to providing advice and options. There is a difference between what the chart says you can do, and what you can do, after you’ve taken into account reality and contextual situations.

Now, this is often misconstrued as ME being ageist, sexist, whatever-ist. But the truth is, it’s not ME who is ageist, sexist, racist etc. It’s the world that is that way.And a responsible consultant must acknowledge these realities, but also press them home to a client.

But the decision at the end of the day is that of the clients. If you think you can overcome the obstacles that reality throws at you, then go with that. But before you decide ‘YES I CAN’,  ask yourself if you have implemented a reality check. Because saying YES I CAN, without knowing what you are up against, is a recipe for disaster, personal disappointment and frustration.

As a consultant, here’s how I work when it comes to giving clients options and solutions.

First, I ask the client what are the options they have in mind. Most clients fail to be sufficiently pro-active in their consultations, by coming with a list of options. They waltz into the consultation EXPECTING to be given options (and mind you, options that they LIKE and WANT TO HEAR). Is it any surprise they don’t get what they like and want to hear when most of the time, they don’t know what they even want?

Next, I will evaluate the options that the client has indicated (if given such options) against the chart. If it is a 50-50 situation (meaning the option is a possibility or do-able), then the Luck Pillar will usually become an important consideration. Is this the right time for them to do what they want to do?

If however the option isn’t available, I will state the obvious. No, sorry this option is not available for you. (read: Dream crusher moment).

If the client is insistent, I will explain WHY. And then tell them that if they insist on going down that path, they will have to take into consideration the various problems and obstacles I have indicated, and also fix their character constraints to minimise the problems they will face. Typically, this is a daunting exercise. And it is designed to be so deliberately by the consultant because it’s always better to be safe than sorry. I would rather the client be constantly on guard, than on cruise control. Screw-ups in life happen (just like car accidents) when people take their eyes off the road. It’s not my job to save you from yourself, but at the very least if you plan to get into a shipwreck, for god’s sakes, at least know how to swim.

So what if the client comes in with zero options in mind? This is the dreaded “you tell me what I can do” client. The one who wants to know all the possibilities, nevermind the reality. And usually the one who has NO IDEA about reality in the first place. (from experience, Resource types). The anything is possible, nothing is impossible, gimme-hope types.

People who should never see a bazi consultant with square hands, short fingers, square face and small eyes.

The client with zero options is almost always given the 20 questions routine from me. I try to find out what their background is, education level, what possible options are available given their skills and knowledge, and try to gauge what their area of interest or passion might be. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to this information within 10-15 minutes of the consultation. If the universe feels like being mean, it might take me 20-30 minutes to figure all this out, after a lengthy exercise on par with pulling teeth from an elephant, by which point I will be in a testy mood. (I mean hello, I’m trying to help you – for heaven’s sakes, look like you want to at least HELP YOURSELF).

Now, bear in mind that I never ever give the client an option that is specific from the standpoint of a job title (although sometimes this is possible if there is a lot of clarity in the chart and the person has a very clear idea of what kind of industry they want to work in and I’m very familiar with that industry) or a type of business. But most of the time, I strive to give them a clear picture or descriptive of the options available to them and I strive to make sure that it is something that ties in with what they are interested in (or passionate about – very important).

And I try to make sure the option is something that works with their chart, and not against it.

And I make it a point to make sure the option, most importantly, is DO-ABLE. Achievable by you, given the circumstances of your chart, your inherent basic personality AND the reality of the world.

So the next time you go to a BaZi consultant and come out thinking you didn’t get options, options and more options, ask yourself if it really is the case of not getting any options, or simply not hearing the options you wanted to hear.