This is part two of an article that was originally published in March 2008 on my blog, entitled This Thing Called Compatibility. 

Here’s the question which came into the Bazi Buzz email (which I’ve kept the asker waiting on tetherhooks for ages). It is as follows:

Can you tell me something about compatibility analysis using BaZi? Have just come off a relationship with someone, and also seeing someone else…which guy to chose? Can BaZi help me in this??!!! I don’t want to make a mistake again but how do I know if this guy is right or maybe the ex is a better choice? Ex – DOB: 7/5/1974 – current – DOB 9/10/1975 me – DOB – 4/6/1976.

Here is the lady in question’s BaZi (time not included – strictly speaking that is important but we are going to analyse compatibility from a basic standpoint here).

As we can see from the chart, she is a Ding Fire Day master.  Now, although the objective of the exercise is to evaluate her compatibility with two people – her ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend, first we need to consider her chart. This is because we want to make sure that her chart doesn’t show any existing relationship issues such as a missing spouse star for example. Now in this case, the spouse star or Direct Officer star (represented by Ren Water) is in the Spouse Palace. The Spouse Palace is the Earthly Branch that is directly under the Day Master – in this case, it is the Pig. Unfortunately, this Spouse Star also has a clash, from the Snake in the month. So, we need to take into account this factor when considering this lady’s overall relationship track record.

Now, when we look at compatibility, timing is also essential. If the person is not in the right Luck Pillar for forming a long-term relationship or marriage, then of course, she’s not going to meet Mr Right. (and vice versa if it’s a man). To which the issue of compatibility in my opinion wouldn’t even arise!
So let’s look at her Luck Pillars:

She’s 32 years old this year, so we will be looking at the 30-40 Luck Pillar which is Geng Yin.

Now, first off, this is not a ‘marriage’ Luck Pillar as it were – the Luck Pillar of Geng Yin in this case is more suited towards professional and career progression and advancement rather than marriage. Also, because the Wood star is involved, in this particular case, the reason why this lady may have landed herself in these two relationships is likely due to simply ‘gliding’ into a relationship rather than actually consciously choosing to have a relationship. In other words, she has drifted into the situation. Now, as her question does not stipulate WHEN she met the two gentlemen, we can only speculate. But certainly from the chart, meeting a guy in 2007 is highly likely, and Man #2 having come along in 2008 is highly possible – in both these years, there are spouse star elements. In 2007 it is the Ren in the Pig, and in 2008, it is the Gui in the Rat.

The only problem is this is 2007 is wrong year to meet a man and the relationship did not last and rightly so. And 2008, whilst it is not a bad year to meet someone, it is still a Peach Blossom year, which warrants being a little bit more careful before hopping into a serious relationship or marriage. Especially given that she’s not in the right Luck Pillar for a long-term relationship or marriage.

Now logically, we need not even go into the Compatibility issue because in the first place, these two relationships are untimely and meant to be transient in nature. They aren’t meant to last long. It’s also important to note that the Tiger forms a Combination-Destruction with the Spouse Palace, suggesting relationships that start out well, but then gradually erode.

But what if…what if?

Hypothetically, we can still of course look at the Compatibility between this lady and her two possible candidates: Mr Now, and Mr Ex.

Here’s Mr Now’s BaZi (Hour not Accurate)

And here are his Luck Pillars:

As Mr Now would be 33 years old, we are looking at the 30-40 Luck pillar of Ren Wu.

And here is the BaZi of Mr Ex:

And here are his Luck Pillars:

 

As Mr Ex is born in 1974, he would be 34 years old and so we would also be looking at the 30-40 Luck pillar of Ren Shen.

Now, both Mr Now and Mr Ex are Wu Earth Day Masters. Sometimes, one might look at the Day Masters to see if there is any connection there that suggests compatibility but that is just one of the things that we will look at. And that is not just specifically applicable to ‘romance’ related compatibility but any general compatibility. We tend to gravitate towards people who are similar Day Masters, or with whom our Day Master combines with. For example, Geng people may find they gravitate towards Yi Wood Day Masters as Geng and Yi are a combination.

Now, between Mr Ex and Mr Now, it is a tough toss up. Tough in the sense that both men are going through a conducive Luck Pillar for marriage or a long-term relationship. In both their Luck Pillars, the spouse star is present.

However, on evaluation of Luck Pillars, Mr Ex’s Luck Pillar is more favourable for marriage for two reasons: firstly, Mr Ex’s Luck Pillar is Ren Shen, where in the spouse star is rooted in both Stem and Branch. Thus, this is a purer Spouse star and thus, is suggestive of ‘real’ marriage luck. By contrast, Mr Now’s Luck Pillar is Ren Wu – the spouse star is only present on the surface. Furthermore, the Wu clashes with the Zi in Mr Now’s spouse palace. So double reason why Mr Now is not a very good contention candidate. By contrast, Mr Ex’s Luck Pillar don’t reveal any clash with the Spouse Palace, which is Shen.

But whilst the timing is right, we also have to match the inherent BaZis of both men. Now, Mr Now’s chart would be classified as a cold chart, as he is born in the month of Xu, which is very close to the winter season, marked by the Hai month. By contrast, Mr Ex’s chart would be classified as a warm chart, as he is born in the month of Si, which is the start of the Summer season.

The lady in question has a very hot chart, being herself a Ding Fire Day Master, and born in the Snake month, which is again, the start of the summer season. No time is given but if she is born in the day, then the chart is definitely hot.

So, her preference would certainly be towards the person with the cooler chart. That suggests Mr Now’s chart. But, the lady in question’s chart favours both Metal and Water and although Mr Ex’s chart is hot, the Snake and Monkey is a combination that produces water and there is strong Metal in his chart, as the Snake is the growth of the Metal element.

In this case, Mr Ex would seem to be the better option for a long-term or more serious relationship for the following reasons:

–    Mr Ex’s Luck Pillars show he is in the right timing for marriage – this is important to help foster a positive outcome to the relationship
–    Although Mr Ex’s chart is warm and does not have strong water, his chart does have quite a bit of Metal, which is one of the elements the lady in question likes. This suggests the foundation of a good relationship as well as if the spouse’s chart contains elements the other person likes, they are more likely to stay together, or accommodate each other (yes, so when you’re annoyed with your spouse, it could just be them elements talking)
–    Finally, Mr Now is hardly going through a great patch in 2008, and the clash between his spouse palace and his Luck Pillars basically indicates marriage is certainly not a good idea and a relationship is unlikely to last long.

So between Mr Ex and Mr Now, Mr Ex is looking like a better option. BUT, the goal of a consultant is to evaluate the charts objectively. That means, we don’t take into account emotions, or how you feel and what you like. That’s what it was like in the old days in China – you met your spouse on your wedding day.

That is not of course, practical given the modern circumstances of relationships. Which is why, any Compatibility Analysis should always be done with an understanding that sometimes, feelings matter more than those elements. Someone can appreciate objectively that the person they love is all wrong for them (many people realise this without BaZi’s help) but well, that’s love for you.

Ultimately of course, should the lady in question actually be in a consult, neither gentlemen would be the choice, for the simple reason that her Luck Pillars are not indicative of marriage or relationship luck. But sometimes clients are insistent! Which to some degree goes against the whole idea of checking in the first place! If the timing is not right, why force it?